Daphne Bennett

Happy new year!

Like everybody, I want to make a list of New Year Resolutions on the first of January. The vibrate 2015 is over, and miraculously Bertie sleeps by 8pm tonight, giving me the rare chance to enjoy a glass of wine and a box of chocolate from my beloved ones at Christmas.

For the new year, I carried the 30-lbs Bertie and walked over the hill, which is tremendous fun and joy in a winter morning. Catching my breathe, battling with the cold, I feel alive. This winter had been terribly wet and we feel trapped indoor most of the days. Whenever the chances come, whenever the sun shines, I feel like a poor indoor dog excited for exercise and adventure.

2015 had been a tough year. Bertie is still growing out of his babyhood and adjusting himself to the limitation of this brand new world. My husband has gone through many changes in his career. We are still waiting to see where are we going to live in 2016. We have said goodbye to a few friends and attempted to make some new ones who we are getting ready to say goodbye again. I have completely no luck in doing paintings but I managed to create a few watercolour work that I am proud of. We still travelled a bit, but travelling is hell lot more stressful with a sensitive toddler. But all these makes life rather exciting. I have successfully quitted Facebook in order to maintain my sanity. I started wearing specs again. I have read quite a few good books. I am grateful that we had a brilliant summer and we went for walks and to the beaches regularly. I am glad that I am strong enough to carry Bertie. I am proud that I still breastfeeding Bertie against all the odds, matitis, social stress, etc. My faith in science and nature keeps me going.

For the new year, there won’t be anything special. I hope I will be able to update this blog at least bi-weekly. I hope I will be able to type in French later this year. I do hope Bertie will start talking instead of crying in a few months, and recently seeing him trying to entertain himself without my help brings me great relief. I want to be able to find joy and love in every day life. Therefore, I am going to keep a journal consistently and diligently. I know part of me feel fulfilled for being Bertie’s mum, but the sleep deprivation is a constant battle. And the crying. And the whining.  It will pass. Bottom of my heart I know he will walk out of the door one day and never look back, like an image of the wild documentaries, except Christmas, hopefully. But as a carefree adult for a good few years, the transition to parenthood is one of the hardest thing I ever experience.

May there be more love, less hatred and anger in the new year.