Daphne Bennett

It was half-term last week – madness. We didn’t go anywhere more than 45 mins in the car but we kinda did go somewhere everyday.

I met an ex-colleague for a dog walk last Sunday. I was full of doubts when I left in February. Frustrated, angry, and disappointed by the way I was treated. I couldn’t say what I thought while he and I were still in position but he announced his departure during my notice period. I did ask, on my last day, that I don’t get it, he asked, get what, I said, why me, why was I picked, he said because you were good, you were really good. All outsiders said they had been treating me like dirt and it was very nasty and unfair. I had two other roles that paid better and treated me better, I did not have any reason to hang on this job other than to prove, prove, I don’t know what. I felt very bruised and low and once I am gone, I couldn’t be happier.

My ex-colleague left after I left. He sat with me at the ‘fact-finding exercise’. We didn’t go back on that. He did asked me twice whether it was a good thing working there in the first place. I replied twice, it was good when it was good.

Consider how involved he was and how much of the setup of the office was his investment, I was surprised by how detached he is from all of it. He is polite, diplomatic and subtle as usual, but I often thought his tie with the office goes deeper than the employment contract. He can’t be happier to leave all the stupid issues with Reform behind and does not care if Andy Burnham will win the bi-election. He is free from bs. It is true that if you are the cleverest person in the room, you are in the wrong room, and to me, that is particularly the case for him. He had been in the wrong room as long as I had. Not that I am that clever. And I can’t do diplomacy.

When more experienced people told me that my employer was terrible and the workplace is toxic, where good people will soon go one-by-one, I thought they were just comforting me and none of it is true – the fact is I deeply believed that I am useless and hopeless that’s why I am treated like that. I was reluctant to meet him but it was a closure that I needed. I still have some doubts, but it is much clearer that it was an objectively shit place to work in now. I told him that I have started studying again and ironically the first module is Ethical Leadership. He laughed and said I had plenty of first-hand experience what one shouldn’t do then.

He asked me if I have any plans going away soon and if I need help with dog care do let him know.

So that’s that.

A confirmation that someone will be happy to help me out with my dog when I need and that I am not completely useless.

I am also starting to work on Fridays from next week, soldiering on as Low Value Human Capital (this is such a brilliant term I want it on a t-shirt).

We have almost come to agree the dates to hire people demolishing the old shed and building a new decking. That will cost about 10k, no less I bet. It feels very strange that we could afford something like that. That we can afford two kids, a dog, I working part-time and studying.

I also had a short exchange with an excolleague who never bothered to contact me but seemed really happy that I contacted her. And I ran into a student from Vietnam who worked in AgeUK as care assistant and receptionist in the supermarket.